I have reached the point where I want to stop putting things on hold. There is a consistent thrum in our lives, waiting for the next move, the next goal, the next job. If all goes as planned, I will have my degree in two years, and that may very well mean another move, hopefully to the place where we can finally settle down, just in time for our kids to graduate and move out.
This lifestyle is wearing me out. I want to enjoy life now, and I want the boys to as well. I am to the point where I don’t want to look at people’s facebook pages because I am tired of seeing everyone have a wonderful time and me being stuck home packing and studying (FOMO). It is time to start having wonderful times of our own.
We are making a few changes to that end.
First of all, we have started a list on a white board. This list contains all the things we like to do: hiking, biking, writing, eating, etc.
The hope is that by listing such things, we can remember what we do like to do, and will make time and space for those things.
I hope to make more space in my life for things I love by routinizing the things I don’t love.
Instead of ignoring work and letting it pile up and then feeling guilty, or spending entire days devoted to it, I am going to try to put it in neatly marked boxes on my google calendar, tackle them and forget them. Laundry is working so well with this system that we want to add more. Room cleaning, vacuuming, dissertation writing, and exercise will all get places.
The next step will be scheduling the things we like to do, to make sure we remember to do them!
I have always been resistant to scheduling, discipline, and structure because it seems so stifling. If I make the structure, I find many ways to cheat. But I know I am not happy having life lived for me, so I am ready to take control.
Of course, my one big stumbling block is the electronic device I am using right now.
I am terrible about using it and overusing it, and I have set the tone for overuse in our household. I get resentful when it is taken away or limits are placed on it, even if it is me who is placing the limits. I could free up so much time to do other things if I could pull the plug every now and then. I don’t have a smartphone so my computer use is limited to the house. If I can kick myself out the door, I am good. But indoors, and keeping myself from distractions when I am working on the computer, those are more difficult. I place blocking software and then just work my way around it. That is my biggest stumbling block and I am looking for suggestions from people who have felt addicted or at least deeply attached to their devices and have found ways to curb their own enthusiasm.
Tomorrow we will be trying to revel in summer. Part of the issue is that summer takes a while to get going here, but I think we might have achieved summer weather. On tap-berry picking and a hike.
I wish everyone (including me!) a joyous First Summer Weekend!